Last Stand of the Diet Warriors
by Swagnarok
Summary: Conan, Nancy, and Kogoro are taken out to a restaurant catering to diabetics. Episode 1029.


Seagulls. Water, vigorously slamming into the shore. The power of nature, captured by the human ear. Blue skies, reflecting the sea. The uttermost edge of human habitation, where the land ends and the sea begins.

The perfect place for a photo shoot.

Inspector Megure, officially because he wanted to look professional at all times but really out of shame on account of his "moobs", was the only fully dressed person here at the beach. Everyone else was clad in swimwear.

He signaled with his hand. "I'm gonna need some of you to move in closer to the center."

"This is taking forever," Sonoko murmured.

"Well, maybe he wants to get it right the first time," Nancy said.

"Genta-kun, stop picking your nose!" Ayumi said.

"I can't help it! There's something in there," Genta said.

"When you're done, wash your hands in the sea, at least," Mitsuhiko said. "You don't want to be walking around with a booger stuck to your hand."

Who brought the little kids along for this, Conan thought with a deadpan look.

Shiro, a bored expression on his face, had his hands behind his head, as though to stretch.

"It's hot," he said.

"It's the beach, what'd you expect?" Haibara responded.

"Oi, scoot over," Heiji whispered to Kazuha.

She did so and he came in closer to the center.

Kogoro looked at Eri (who was wearing a bikini) with disdain.

"Hey, don't you think you're getting a little old to show up to the beach dressed like that?" he said, blushing.

"Hmph, I'm still as good looking now as I was at 25," she retorted. "The nerve..."

Finally, Conan looked straight at the audience.

"It's the start of a new year (2022)," he said. "And with it, Detective Conan has returned to the airwaves. We hope you enjoyed the story of Nobutaro and Bonnie, but now we'll be swinging back into the old routine."

"As always," Dr. Agasa said, "we'll be hard at work putting out new content for your entertainment, in the magazine Shounen Sunday and on Yomiuri TV."

"So make sure to tune in regularly!" Masumi (wearing something a bit more modest than the rest of the adult female cast) said.

Takagi and Sato, who were also present, posed playfully.

"Alright, it's ready," Megure said. "Say cheese!"

"CHEESE!"

He ran to get into the frame before the camera took the picture.

But he tripped midway, his back turned to the camera. At the moment that the picture was taken.

And that was that.

**Opening**

(_Dragostea Din Tei_, better known as the "Numa Numa Yay Song", cover by BOYFRIEND)

_Ma-ia hii, Ma-ia huu, Ma-ia hoo, Ma-ia haha_

_Ma-ia hii, Ma-ia huu, Ma-ia hoo, Ma-ia haha_

(The ingenuity of the criminal mind is matched only by the detective's wit! The same image is seen three times, but there's only one witness to the underlying crime! How is this? Perceiving the one and only truth! With the body of a child but the mind of an adult, my name is DETECTIVE CONAN!)

_Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc_

_Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea_

_Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso_

_Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic_

_Vrei sa pleci dar numa numa iei_

_Numa numa iei_

_Numa numa numa iei_

_Chipul tau si dragostea din tei_

_Mi-amintesc de ochii tai_

_Vrei sa pleci dar numa numa iei_

_Numa numa iei_

_Numa numa numa iei_

_Chipul tau si dragostea din tei_

_Mi-amintesc de ochii tai_

**Last Stand of the Diet Warriors!**

"Again, it was too kind of you to agree to treat the entire family," Kogoro said. "These little ankle-biters don't need to be dining fancy."

"Don't mention it," Mr. Miyajima said cordially. "It was the least I could do."

Kogoro spent the past few days trailing Miyajima's teenage son, who was sneaking out of the house at nights and not returning home until very late. As it turned out, he had a secret job helping unload/load instruments and equipment for an "underground" rock band in the area. Miyajima didn't care that his son was interested in rock music, but instead he was happy that he had a job at 16.

Satisfied with the outcome of the Sleeping Kogoro's investigation, and having plenty in way of disposable income, he decided to treat Kogoro and his "family", which included two children who just happened to show up at his doorstep for no reason long ago. Eri couldn't make it tonight because there was an unusual backlog of work at her practice.

Nancy stuck her head behind her seat and looked around. "What kind of restaurant is this?"

"The big sign above the door said 'Diet Warrior'," Conan noted. "So is this a place where health nuts and gym enthusiasts go to eat?"

"Well, not exactly," Miyajima said. "This place, um, caters to a special kind of clientele. The kind who are advised not to eat out often, because it could cause trouble for their bodies. People like myself."

"I'm not sure I follow," Kogoro said.

"Mouri-san, I have Type 2 Diabetes," Miyajima said.

"...Oh."

Kogoro blinked. "You, um, you look like you're in good shape."

Miyajima laughed. "Mouri-san, you really are something else! No, not all diabetics are fat, though I do admit my _BMI_ is a tad higher than I would've wanted."

"_BMI_?" Kogoro repeated.

"_Body Mass Index_," Conan explained. "It measures how much a person ought to weigh based on their height, and gives them a rating based on deviation from that ideal range."

"My, my, your boy sure does know his stuff," Miyajima said.

"He's not my son," Kogoro said. "He just hangs around for whatever reason."

"And the girl?"

"T-The same," Kogoro said, though with a tinge of reluctance.

There was a pause. And then, eager to change the subject:

"This place is godsend," Miyajima said. "Their menu is designed to cater to our dietary needs. Specifically, what that means is that all menu items are low in sugar."

"You mean their desert items?" Kogoro said, puzzled.

Miyajima shook his head. "I mean regular items. 'Sugar' does not merely refer to table sugar, after all. Foods derived from grain contain sugar, such as bread, rice, or even noodles. Milk has sugar, as do most dairy products. See, these are the kinds of things most people don't think about. When you think of sugar you think of candy bars and ice cream. But we're swimming in sugar all of the time. We just don't realize it, and at the same time it's almost impossible to avoid it. So a diabetic has to be very careful if he wants to stay in good health."

"I'm calling it now," Nancy whispered to Conan. "Everything on the menu here is going to suck."

Conan examined the menu. "Hmm? _Ojisan_, what's with these numbers?"

Miyajima looked at his own copy and quickly spotted what the young boy meant. "These? Well-

"Welcome to Diet Warrio...Oh, Miyajima-san, you brought guests this time?"

The slim woman, Yuuna Nagisa (age 30), held a phone in her hand.

"Yes, this is Mouri-san and his, er, family," Miyajima said.

"Is she...texting while waiting our table?" a miffed Kogoro whispered to Miyajima.

"Don't mind that," Miyajima replied. "She can type our orders in faster than she can write with a pen. That's what the phone's for."

"Can I start by asking your drink?" Yuuna asked.

"Yes, I'll take a water," Miyajima said. "And, uh, Mouri-san, what do you want?"

"I'll take a water too," he said.

"Hey, I dare you to order a coke," Nancy whispered to Conan.

"No thanks, I'm sure that'd be like blasphemy in a place like this," Conan said.

But it didn't matter because Kogoro answered for them: "A water for the kids too."

Yuuna set the phone down. "Alright. I'll be back in a sec."

She left.

Miyajima turned to Conan. "As for your question, about the numbers on the menu, they describe the Glycemic Index numbers of the ingredients used in these dishes."

"Glycemic...Index number?" Conan repeated.

Miyajima nodded. "Type 2 diabetes is caused by insulin resistance. That is, while the body still produces insulin it has stopped using it as effectively to clear the blood of sugar. So it takes longer to do its job. If blood sugar accumulates too rapidly, before the insulin is able to kick in, that can be dangerous. Even life-threatening. The Glycemic Index describes how fast eating a certain kind of food causes blood sugar levels to rise. The lower the number, the better. Glycemic Index number is arguably as important as the actual sugar content itself. Some foods that are seemingly low in sugar can be bad because of their potential to put that present sugar into the bloodstream very fast."

I feel like we're getting a giant exposition dump for no reason, Nancy thought with a deadpan look.

The woman came back soon with their drinks and they ordered their food. As soon as she left, Conan announced:

"I have to use the toilet."

Miyajima pointed to the other side of the dining area. "There's a little hallway there that'll take you past the kitchen. The men's room is to the first to the left."

"_Arigato_."

Conan got up and headed to the bathroom.

**Scene Transition**

He put his hands to the twenty second drier that some public bathrooms still had for whatever reason and then stepped out.

He was walking by the sliding door to the kitchen when-

"What do you MEAN we're out of buckwheat?!"

"Yeah, there were like two bags the other day. What gives?"

"S-Sorry, but yesterday I noticed both of those bags were open, so I threw them out."

"Open?"

"Yeah. There was a big hole in the side. The contents inside have been exposed to air for who knows how long now. I'm sure it wouldn't be a good idea to feed that to the-

"You IDIOT! We needed that! Now how are we going to get through tomorrow night?!"

"We'll just have to tell them our whole grain soba noodles are off the menu."

"What, you think they'll come back after our menu is riddled with holes like that?!"

"Like I said, I'm sorry, sheesh."

"Sorry doesn't cut it! You don't have a stake in this company! If it goes belly-up you'll just shrug and find another job. The rest of us? We'll be finished!"

"Well whose fault is that?"

"Why you...!"

"Calm down, Koichi-kun! Getting mad won't solve anything!"

"Screw this. I'm gonna corner Togashi-san at the end of tonight, and this time if he doesn't agree to buy my share back I'm gonna fricking murder him."

"C-Come on, surely you don't mean th-

"Shut up! All of you SHUT UP! I've been putting up with all your bullsh*t for 3 years now and I'm sick and tired of it!"

"Koichi-kun, take your injection now. You'll feel better after that garbage is out of your system. You'll see. All of this is just the sugar talking."

"Hmph. Like you know what I'm feeling."

"Believe me, I do."

The angry man's voice paused. And then he said:

"Hey, um, it looks like the next one's not gonna be ready for at least another fifteen minutes, so you can step out and take a smoke break if you want."

"Really? Okay then. Thanks."

She's the only waitress here and she's going outside to take a smoke break? Conan thought with annoyance. What if somebody comes in?

But shrugging that aside he headed back to his seat with the others.

**Scene Transition**

"There's, uh, nobody else here tonight," Kogoro noted, making small talk.

"No, because this is a slow night," Miyajima said. "It does get busy though."

Conan turned to Nancy. "What did you order?"

"I just got a chicken and salad," she said.

"Ah, you mean number five on the salad menu," Conan said. "Let's see...their 'homemade ranch dressing' sauce probably has a lot of calories, and iceberg lettuce has almost no nutritional value."

"What, are you judging my dietary choices now?" Nancy scoffed. "I'm eight you creep."

"_Baka_, I'm judging their menu," Conan said. "Well, to make it taste good enough that people come back, they're inevitably going to have add in some less than ideal ingredients. But the main point is they want to avoid sugar, so the best way forward is to be fairly generous with the fat."

"That's exactly right," Miyajima said. "Here is what most people realize: a high-fat diet is not the healthiest thing, but it pales in comparison to the ill effects of a high-sugar diet. If you need something tasty to get through the day, it's better to go with something fatty. Say, meat. That's why I always take a stick of salted beef jerky on me when I leave the house for extended periods. That's my snack."

"Beef jerky, huh?" Kogoro said. "From what I've seen in stores it looks absolutely disgusting."

"Are you sure you're not mistaking beef jerky with beef sti-

"Oh my word he's DEAD!"

Practically second nature by now, Conan jolted to his feet and ran toward the kitchen.

No one was there. However, the door in the kitchen leading outside was open.

Conan ran outside.

The woman who'd taken their order (Yuuna) and the two men whose voices he heard earlier were standing agape at the freezer shed (whose door was swung open). Inside the freezer, a man was lying on the ground in his underwear, dead.

**Scene Transition**

The man was Mutsuo Togashi, age 49, the founder of "Diet Warrior". Mr. Togashi was a diabetic, as was everyone who worked there.

The three people on-scene working were Yuuna, Koichi Saito (a heavyset man, age 32, cook), and Kyuzo Washida (age 20, male, busser/plater, type 1 diabetic).

Inspector Megure walked into the restaurant.

"Whelp, Mouri-kun is here, so this must've been a murder," he muttered.

He continued:

"Alright. Can somebody give me a rundown of what happened here?"

Yuuna was the first to step forward. "I went outside to take a smoke break when I noticed a car. It looked like it belonged to Togashi-san, so I went inside and asked if he was here."

"I told her that I hadn't seen him," Kyuzo said. "Koichi here told her the same."

"With that in mind, I went outside to go look for him," Yuuna said. "I looked in the freezer, and h-he was...!"

It was too awful for her to think about. She cupped her face into her hands.

"Did you spot his car immediately after going outside?" Takagi asked.

She shook her head. "I was out there a couple of minutes before it happened."

"And what time was this?" Megure asked.

They told him.

"I see. Ma'am, you say you found his body in the freezer. Was he already like this?"

"Undressed, you mean? Y-Yeah."

Megure and Takagi exchanged a suspicious look.

"Before her, what was the last time any of you went in that freezer?"

"For me, it was this morning," Koichi said. "Just a couple minutes after I came in to work. I opened up, grabbed the key, went out, unlocked the freezer, and took out a box of yams (sweet potatoes)."

"I went out there right before the end of my afternoon shift," Kyuzo said. "I took out two buttermilks and left. That's it, I swear."

"And none of you went in there afterward?" Megure asked.

They shook their heads.

"I trust an examination of restaurant camera footage will prove you're telling the truth?" he said.

"A-Actually, the camera out back stopped working recently," Kyuzo said. "Togashi-san ordered a new one but it wasn't scheduled to come in until the day after tomorrow."

"How convenient," Megure said with annoyance. "I suppose this means anyone who stepped out back today besides in the instances mentioned will be considered suspicious."

"Hmph, for that all you have to do is check the kitchen camera," Koichi said. "It was a slow day. I never had to leave but once."

Megure turned to Kyuzo. "You said 'end of my afternoon shift'. Does that mean you left the building?"

Kyuzo shook his head. "It's a long drive from home so I just sat in the back room and played games on my phone until it was time to resume my shift. As the cameras will attest, I didn't go anywhere."

Megure nodded to an aide, who went to check out the cameras and confirm this.

"And how about you?" Megure asked Yuuna.

"A-Actually, I did go outside for a smoke break during my afternoon shift," Yuuna said.

"Oh, was Togashi-san's car out there then?" Takagi asked.

She shook her head.

Megure turned to Kyuzo.

"Um, it wasn't when I went out there either," Kyuzo said.

"But it's out there now," Takagi said. "Which means..."

"Togashi-san was killed after the skinny guy-

"You can call me Kyuzo."

"Eh, Kyuzo, went outside," Kogoro interjected. "Provided the kitchen camera footage proves their testimonies accurate, it seems there's only one person here who could've done this."

"_Ch_-_Chotto matte yo_!" Togashi protested. "Are you accusing me of murdering Togashi-san?!"

"We're not assuming anything yet," Megure said, giving a stern look to Kogoro. "For now, let's find out how he died."

**Scene Transition**

Chiba turned and saluted to Megure.

"Your report?" Megure asked.

"There is no sign of puncture wound or strangulation mark on the victim. Our best guess? He froze to death."

Megure blinked. "Froze to death?"

"_Hai_. My professional opinion is that that would best explain the state of the body as we found it."

Megure and Kogoro looked inside the freezer.

It was narrow, with tall metal shelves loaded with goodies lining both sides.

Conan, who was standing behind them, step forward to get a closer look.

And then he looked up.

_Let's see...their 'homemade ranch dressing' sauce probably has a lot of calories, and iceberg lettuce has almost no nutritional value_.

Iceberg...

And then it clicked.

He took a quick search around and spotted it.

A garden hose.

A ladder.

Wasting no time, he ran inside and signaled to Kyuzo.

Kyuzo bent down.

"_Neh_," Conan said, "when you tried to open the door to the freezer, was it..."

He whispered something.

Kyuzo nodded. "Come to think of it, yeah. That's exactly how it was. But how did you know?"

That settles it, Conan thought. I know how they did it. There are a few more details I need to fill in, but after that I should have enough...to wrap this all up!

**Scene Transition**

Amid the dialogue, Kogoro's phone rang.

He stepped into the dining area so as to be away from people when he took the call. He didn't know it, but the number belonged to Shinichi Kudo.

He answered.

"_Moshi_-_moshi_?"

Conan crept up behind him, aimed his tranquilizer wrist-watch, and fired.

Kogoro teetered and tottered. Conan pulled up a chair, that Kogoro promptly slid into quite nicely.

The dial on his bowtie was already set. It was showtime.

"Everyone, if I could please have your attention?!" he called out.

Heeding his voice, they all entered the dining area.

"A-Ah!" Megure exclaimed with excitement, seeing that the otherwise inept middle-aged detective was now in his "sleeping" mode. This, of course, meant that this crime would be solved in no time.

"What is this?" Koichi demanded.

"Let me start by telling you a little story," Conan/Kogoro said. "Do any of you know the story of the Titanic?"

"Huh? Of course!" Megure said. "It was a trans-Atlantic ocean liner that hit an iceberg and sank about a hundred years ago, killing scores of passengers."

"Correct. And how did those passengers die?"

"Well, I imagine they drowned, or froze to death," Takagi said.

"Yes. But there is a third option: heart attack."

"Huuh?"

"You see, many of them were plunged into the icy depths very suddenly," Conan/Kogoro explained. "In some cases, this can cause the body to go into shock, stopping the heart and other bodily systems. That is key to this case here. Chiba, the body was doused with water, no?"

"That's right."

"Here's what happened. The victim arrived in his car. Then he was drugged, perhaps suddenly with chloroform. Then he was taken into the freezer, stripped to his boxers, and the door was closed on him. Several minutes later the killer opened the door holding a garden hose. And sprayed him with it at full blast. He was awoken suddenly. His body, already reaching dangerously low temperatures, was suddenly sprayed with cold water. Conan."

Conan came out from behind where Kogoro was seated. "_Haaaai_! Following uncle's instructions, I went in the back office and I found the number for Togashi-san's son. According to him, his father has a bad heart, a medical condition exacerbated by his diabetes."

Conan ran out of sight again.

"Thank you, Conan," Conan/Kogoro said.

Thank you Conan? Nancy thought with a deadpan look. Tone it down, dad's never that nice to you.

"When Togashi-san was sprayed with water, the cold shock caused him to go into cardiac arrest. He had a heart attack and died on the spot. Were any of you aware of this?"

"Y-Yes, we'd all heard him mention that before," Yuuna said.

"Yes," Conan/Kogoro continued. "So on that note, it seems any one of you could've done it. That is, if not for the issue of time. Two people attested that there was no body in there when they went in. And neither one of them went outside afterwards, whereas you did. Twice. That means either some random stranger did the grisly deed...or you did."

Yuuna stamped her foot in anger. "Screw you! You don't know me! I'm not a frigging murderer, alright?!"

Megure stepped toward her. "Would you please accompany us to the police sta-

"Inspector, wait," Conan/Kogoro interrupted. "What I just told you...is what the real killer wanted you all to believe."

"Ehh?! You mean she didn't do it?" Takagi said.

"That's right. It wasn't her. After all, if it were her, why would she arrange it like this? It just makes no sense. But this story is convenient for that other person, the real killer."

"Alright, mister wise guy," Koichi said. "Why don't you tell us what really happened, if you know everything?"

"Gladly. First item of note: Togashi-san was killed last night, not today. In the freezer, if you send a guy out there again, he should notice that there's a shelf that's bent out of place and about to fall off. The reason for this is that two of the screws holding a cornerpiece in place are missing. In addition, there's a box up there. If he closely examines the box, he should find that one of the sides has collapsed outwards. This is because the left and right corners flanking that side have been cut from top to bottom."

An officer ran out to look. Conan/Kogoro continued:

"After Togashi-san was murdered, his body was put up there, in the box, using a ladder. The two screws were then undone, not so much that gravity would cause them to fall out, but enough that a powerful yank would unlodge them. Then the nails were tied by a string to the interior freezer door handle, as the door is double-handled. At that point, the trap was set. When Kyuzo-san went out there, he had to pull the door very hard to get it to open. This was because of the aforedescribed mechanism. Finally, he exerted enough force to get it open, and the screws came until. The shelf came partially down, enough that the top of it was no longer a level surface. At this point, gravity would slowly cause the body of Togashi-san, curled into a fetal position, to slide and then fall to the ground. It was a slow enough process that Kyuzo-san had time to leave and close the door behind him before it happened. After that, it was done. Kyuzo-san would honestly testify to the police that there was no body in there when he came, giving the guy behind him, Koichi-san, a rock-solid alibi."

The killer was Koichi.

"Hmph, this is absurd," Kyuzo said. "There are several holes in your logic. To start with, if he was killed last night, how did his car not get here until after the afternoon?"

"About that...I had Conan call several auto repair shops in the area. One of them testified that a car belonging to Togashi-san was taken in last night, with instructions by the driver of the car to do repairs on it and then leave it here, at the back of this restaurant, at 5 PM today. The auto shop in question is actually visible from the road outside here. Or, at least, it would be during the day. So it's not very far. The mechanic in question did as he was told. When Conan asked, he identified the driver in question as a man in his 20s or 30s, with a chubby face and plump figure. This neither describes Togashi-san, who's visibly middle-aged, nor Kyuzo-san, who's a man of normal build and not at all overweight. Koichi-san, it could only be you. As for further proof...the nails and string should either still be in the freezer, on Koichi-san's person, or disposed of somewhere on this property. I do not believe he had time to hide it very well, so a thorough search should turn it up soon."

Knowing he was beat, Koichi reached into his pockets.

The police, on edge, took a step back. Gauging their reactions he laughed.

"Relax," he said. "It's exactly as the man said. Here's the string and nails."

He showed the incriminating items.

"Koichi-kun, why did you do it?" Yuuna asked. "You and I, we both bought a controlling stake in the company. We were both duped into taking on liability for its outstanding debts. If anything happened to Togashi-san, it could force the restaurant to close, and then we'd be-

"What you're saying doesn't apply to me," Koichi said. "It's true that I'm as much straddled with that man's debts as you are. But unlike you, I had a way out. Officers...I am one of two conspirators in the murder of Mutsuo Togashi. The other was his ex-wife. Recently separated from him, for the time being his life insurance policy still applied to her. For a limited remaining window, were something to happen to him she would receive a very large payout. She offered to split the money with me 50/50, if I killed him. 50/50. With the amount offered I could mostly climb out of this hole. I would have a clean slate. My life would still be ahead of me. But now...!"

This man, who'd fallen already to great depths of depravity, fell now to his knees, having no choice but to accept the consequences of his actions.

**Ending**

(Dance of the Nutcracker Prince by Aoi Yuki, Bonnie's VA)

Nodding off that drab evening, my form was transfigured suddenly

Clad in colorful garments I found myself in the middle of a field

Beneath a brilliant canopy of stars lost to the world I knew

I was in a place not found on any map but only in storybooks

Having just gained my bearings I was most puzzled to behold

At the end of the field was none other than a yellow brick road

At the end of the road was an imposing castle on top of a hill

Propelled by nothing the drawbridge lowered, welcoming me

Waiting for me inside, a gentleman of a long-dead breed

The ensemble sprang to life, setting a dignified mood

I took his arm and side, as the night's first waltz began

Locked in a stately embrace we danced across the stage

The vigor in his step took us faster, and then faster still

But I didn't speak up; I was having the time of my life

In free-spirited orbit of the margins, as a celestial object

Spinning until everything was a blur, except for his eyes

Laughing merrily, we rested our heads beneath the oak

"My lady," he said, "it was an honor to have this dance."

"This night belongs to you. Let no one take it from you."

"All things under the sun must fade. Can you see it now?"

An unforgettable night crossed the threshold of dawn

A finishing bow he gave as the sun washed him away

I am scared to death of having to live one more day

In this sterile world viewed through a gray tinted lens

Of heavy feet, cold eyes, hollow words and jaded hearts

Walking through a graveyard of dreams and expectations

My eyes once saw absurdities that I will never see again

Between a subdued earth and a kind moon, in his arms


End file.
